The Importance Of Family Values In College Admissions
My children are grown, one is in graduate school and the other is doing her undergraduate studies. While they were growing up I made a lot of mistakes raising them, but I think the values we share as a family are what keep us strong and are a source of their success. Values were also, to a large extent, important in the colleges they chose to attend. The colleges they attended reflect the values they hold. No parent is perfect, if you think you are you’re probably on the wrong side of the good to bad scale. Parenting is difficult work. We make mistakes. We have fears. We project our hopes, wishes, dreams onto our children. This is normal and expected, it is how we reflect, how we act, and the values we teach our children that are really going to determine their future success and happiness.
What I am trying to say is that you shouldn’t be afraid of making mistakes, you should be afraid of how you react and deal with the mistakes you make. Our children learn from us. When talking to most students some of the most annoying traits or habits of others is a habit or trait that one of their parents exhibit. However, in almost all cases their values and beliefs are also consistently similar to those of their parents.
For example, some of my students will find that other students who interrupt or talk out of turn are really annoying. Later, during our mentoring process, I will hear them talk about one of their parents' annoying habit of never letting them or someone else finish a sentence or thought. In effect they have identified an issue the parent has. However, the same student will tell me how important it is to respect those that go out of their way to help someone in need. They really admire those that do it quietly and anonymously. I will later hear a story or an activity that will show up on their application telling of a volunteering or work experience with their parents helping someone in need in a very impactful way - a value transferred.
It is our values that really shape and form us - not our mistakes. So owning up and confessing your mistakes, being honest with your children and showing them you’re human and not perfect is probably the most important aspect of parenting. It also is an important part of the college process. In our counseling process we help students try to define some of their core values. The things that are most important to them especially in relationship to or with other humans. Things like being a respecter of people, inclusive, honest, truth seeking - these are values that they can identify and own. When searching or finding a college they can then try to match their values to that of the colleges. This is a bit of an art but we work with each student to perfect their ability to do this as best we can. Is a college collaborative or competitive? Are they inclusive? Does the student body accept all ideas, conservative and progressive? Do they respect all people?
As you can see, having an understanding of your own values can help you find a school that is best suited for you. Your application will also showcase your values and passions connected with those values so the school will be more likely to accept you. Schools are looking for students that fit or are good additions to their values and aspirations. Some are extremely liberal while others are more conservative - the best are somewhere in between.
It is important to act in accordance with your values. Be honest with yourself and with your children. Understand you will make mistakes, but be honest in admitting those mistakes. Most importantly, modeling the values and behavior you want your children to have will go a long way in helping them become successful, happy and the citizens you want them to become in the future - colleges will notice as well.
Famous Alumni
Afua Osei - Afua Osei is an entrepreneur, investor and prominent public speaker. She is recognized by Forbes Africa as one of the most influential young African women. She graduated cum laude with a bachelor's degree in Political Science from Allegheny College a small liberal arts college located in Meadville, Pennsylvania and later went on to get her MBA and Masters of Public Policy at the University of Chicago.
